[ Okay, good. If Raph had a strategy, that would be step one successful. Man. Imagine being someone who had a whole strategy instead of feeling like a bull in a maze made of china shops.
The anger sputters out while Donnie is stubbornly becoming a crepe, as fast to leave as it was to flare up. ]
I love you. I'm sorry. [ I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry you're hurting and scared. I'm sorry the project you worked so hard on didn't work. I'm sorry we gotta walk back to the apartment because of the yelling. I'm sorry I yelled. I'm sorry I can't make everything better. I'm sorry pops isn't here. I'm sorry we made you feel like we don't want you forever, no matter what, always. I'm sorry I didn't know you felt like that in the first place.
I'm sorry I got so much stuff to apologize for when I'm supposed to take care of you and keep you safe, and I'm sorry I can't pick just one thing to apologize for, and I'm sorry I can't go down the whole list because the list never ends. ]
Raph wouldn't trust anyone but you to give him a robot eye. Ever. I just-- ain't ready to think about it. That's all. [ He's not sure he could handle the thinking-about-it, let alone the planning-it-then-having-it. The handling of it. He doesn't know how long it would even take to get to being able to handle it. Something in his head that he knows, knows, technically isn't his, but it also feels like his?
Eugh. He's getting the willies just imagining it. Been there, done that, can't convince his brain it wouldn't feel like the exact same thing. Not touching it with a ten foot pole.
(Maybe he should've led with the "not ready." In hindsight. Instead of making Donnie feel like... like all the ways Donnie was feeling about it.)
Which works fine for him, because he thinks it should be lower on the priority list either way. Raph can wait. He can always wait. And he's got brothers to watch his blind spot for him in the meantime. ]
So I'd rather think about all you guys instead. Y'know?
[ Raph has the ever-so-slight suspicion that Donnie does, in fact, very personally know.
no subject
The anger sputters out while Donnie is stubbornly becoming a crepe, as fast to leave as it was to flare up. ]
I love you. I'm sorry. [ I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry you're hurting and scared. I'm sorry the project you worked so hard on didn't work. I'm sorry we gotta walk back to the apartment because of the yelling. I'm sorry I yelled. I'm sorry I can't make everything better. I'm sorry pops isn't here. I'm sorry we made you feel like we don't want you forever, no matter what, always. I'm sorry I didn't know you felt like that in the first place.
I'm sorry I got so much stuff to apologize for when I'm supposed to take care of you and keep you safe, and I'm sorry I can't pick just one thing to apologize for, and I'm sorry I can't go down the whole list because the list never ends. ]
Raph wouldn't trust anyone but you to give him a robot eye. Ever. I just-- ain't ready to think about it. That's all. [ He's not sure he could handle the thinking-about-it, let alone the planning-it-then-having-it. The handling of it. He doesn't know how long it would even take to get to being able to handle it. Something in his head that he knows, knows, technically isn't his, but it also feels like his?
Eugh. He's getting the willies just imagining it. Been there, done that, can't convince his brain it wouldn't feel like the exact same thing. Not touching it with a ten foot pole.
(Maybe he should've led with the "not ready." In hindsight. Instead of making Donnie feel like... like all the ways Donnie was feeling about it.)
Which works fine for him, because he thinks it should be lower on the priority list either way. Raph can wait. He can always wait. And he's got brothers to watch his blind spot for him in the meantime. ]
So I'd rather think about all you guys instead. Y'know?
[ Raph has the ever-so-slight suspicion that Donnie does, in fact, very personally know.
Jeez.
What a pair. ]